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Heresy Party's Presidential Candidate

Knute is a member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

"I Was Robbed"

Knute Bland, the Presidential candidate of the Heresy Party, is taking the Bureau of Elections of Florida to court. Bland claims the he was robbed from winning the Florida vote because the spot on the ballot to mark a vote for him was across from the Green Party row for Ralph Nader.

Do you need to take NoDoz to follow the campaigns of the major party candidates? The Knute Bland campaign promises to be different.

Knute Bland is author of:

"Your Spiritual Advisor Wears Combat Boots"

"101 Uses for a Dead CEO"

"101 Uses for a Dead Republican"

"Where's a Good Firing Squad When You Need One?"

Knute Bland's
Campaign Platform

* Free Meals on Wheels for everyone twice a day provided by McDonalds.

* Free Child Daycare provided by the military.

* Doctors can be exempt of liability charges if they provide 22 hours of pro bono medical service each month.

* At age 18 all males are conscripted for 8 years. Up to 4 of those years may be ROTC. Conscripted service may be community service after two-years of military service.

* School uniforms - tie dye.

* Since men are more into war, only women should vote.

* ZERO TAXES
We've outclassed the Republican platform on taxes. Americans have spent billions building an awesome military. Let's put our military to good use by having them "shakedown" other countries to cover our tax expenses.

* Paternity leave for men with more than one wife.

Click to go to WWW.CAUS.ORG

* The Hebrews are free to reclaim their original homeland: Babylon.

On today's map, it's a little town 40 miles north of Baghdad. And leave the Palestinians alone!

* Discoverer

"Al Gore may have invented the Internet, but I invented the booty call." - Knute Bland

* Transition Cabinet
While preparing for his Presidential campaign for election year 2000, Knute Bland is recruiting advisors for his kitchen cabinet, medicine cabinet, ... and for you ladies, his bedroom cabinet. Email your qualifications to BlandCandidate@unicameral.net.

Have the Navy allow the public to time travel as did the sailors in the Philadelphia Experiment and the Montauk Experiment.